Victims

The Curvature has a post up which questions why 'victim' is a dirty word, why survivor isn't. It made more sense to me than anything I've read in a long time.

What is it about popular culture which makes it an offence to feel hurt? Why the hell does anyone have the right to tell another not to dwell on something that went wrong? Why is it necessary to pretend to be strong even when you're falling apart?

To tell someone not to live in the part and to pull themselves together when they're clearly unable to do so is to tell them that they are inadequate. To say that they should not play the victim is effectively to say that they should take responsibility for something they may have had no control over.

To tell them to simply forget the past is to ask that they reject what is in all probability an inalienable part of their experience, of themselves. Everyone uses their experiences as a benchmark by which they assess new events in their lives. Why should those who've been
victimised not be allowed to do so?